My fight to Home school

Homeschooling was never my plan to begin with. Back when I had 2 children we could afford to send them to private christian schools. Then baby number 3 came and all that changed. I started my first year teaching my 2 eldest boys with a 1 year old running around the house and pregnant with my 4th child! The first year went pretty well. Finances were tight and it was hard to keep the curriculum stocked. We did as well as we could. Soon enough baby number 4 came along and I began to home school them for a second year but with a brand new baby and me being fairly new to homeschooling I soon became overwhelmed and put my 2 boys in public school. Worst year of my life! I can't say anything good about the public school system so I won't say anything at all! The next year we started over again! This time with a new curriculum and the year went wonderfully! Shortly after that we welcomed baby number 5 into our home. With two babies back to back and maternity months away from school we did get behind a bit which made me so discouraged! I kept on going! I had too! This was my children's education. With no help or know how, I tried different schedules, curriculum's and teaching techniques. I was always searching for a better way. I would read material, books and talk to any home schooling mother I met, trying to glean some wisdom from them. Anything that would help me be a better teacher. It was quite a learning experience for me as well. I continued to press forward even thinking that I wasn't doing a good job, with the feeling of inadequacy lingering over my head daily, but I knew this was my calling in life. How could I send my precious children, who were my responsibility off to a place where I didn't know the people. How would I guide and watch over them? I couldn't! I wouldn't! I continued on striving to be a good teacher, mother, wife and christian. I felt like the prince in Sleeping Beauty trying rescue the princess, cutting through the tangled, overgrown thorns. I had to push my way thorough the thorny briers everyday just to teach those boys! Hardest job I've ever had by far! I felt like this for about two years. Then I added 2 more children to the homeschooling calender. Wow! What a difference that made! I was in over my head or so I thought. I kept going and teaching little by little and day by day. Some weeks I gave up and others I was encouraged. I did my best and wouldn't give up! Last year my boys had become discouraged and bored with the curriculum so school was a nightmare! No matter what I tried or the technique I used, it seemed that nothing would adhere to there brains.. Keep in mind I was teaching my youngest three children also. I was seriously thinking about quitting. I took a break to gather my thoughts and weigh my options. I just couldn't keep up with the demand of grading, paperwork,planning the house and everything else I had on my plate. Until now! This year we are all caught up and on the correct grade levels and school runs beautifully... most of the time. Thanks to this new curriculum I bought that grades, plans and is on the computer. I am able to teach my boys easier and my three youngest better. This has been our best school year by far and I'm teaching 5 children! It's not in my own strength but the Lord's. Daily I have to pray and ask the Lord for the wisdom I need to teach my children correctly and calmly. I'm finally feel like we are on track and it feels so good to know that they are learning and having fun doing it! It took 5 years for us to get to this point and there will be many more to come. Every year I think I can't teach them, the Lord always makes a way and shows me how. This is for all the homeschooling mothers out there who may be thinking that they can't do it, or maybe on the brink of giving up! Maybe your just discouraged and think everyone else is perfect, not realizing they are feeling the same way as you. For what ever it's worth. Keep on going and don't stop. They will rise up and call you blessed!